Buried in First Draft Crap
You all might recall that in my post recapping NaNoWriMo 2013, I referred to my efforts as “a smelly pile of first draft poop”. Well, it may be worse than I had thought.
That previous sentence may be the result of frustration. (no, seriously- there is no “may be” to it) I still believe that my gem of a novel is buried somewhere in there.
Way, way, way down in there.
As you probably have guessed, I have started the process of editing my novel. And it makes my head hurt.
Trying to keep track of the events that came out of nowhere, characters that appear and disappear but have the same name as other characters, and all the other mazes that I built during my rush of writing and promptly forgot about makes for an interesting time.
Before I started NaNo, I had an idea of what was going to happen in this particular story. It went off the rails by a lot. Now I am left to figure out which story is the better one, and how to, or even if I should, incorporate bits of both.
Add to that the fact that I have two new stories in my head that are wanting to bulldoze over this previous story and you are left with a brain that hurts.
Oh, and the part about me being a bit of a perfectionist and a stickler for details….
Honestly, I think the majority of the frustration comes from a lack of knowledge on my part.
I don’t know how to approach this thing and I am overwhelmed by it. I want it to be good. Damn good. Great, even.
In the past when I have written stories, I would finish them, pat myself on the back, maybe print a copy, and move the freak on.
Now I have a different goal with my writing. I want to follow through and pursue publishing. Which adds all this extra pressure.
I’m trying to not let it get to me. I am trying to approach the editing process from a place of zen. Keyword being “trying”.
After November, I set the story aside for a month so it could breathe (or rather, so I could breathe). At the start of the year, I picked it up and began this whole editing shebang. Slowly but surely, I am hacking away at it.
I don’t know if this will be the story that eventually gets published. I do believe that if I keep writing, keep working on making my stories and work better, someday I will have something published.
So, for now, I am burying myself deep in my lovely pile of word poop and am hoping to dig out something worth a damn.
I’m also going to keep writing. I have more stories in me to tell and that- the writing and creating- is what I love.
Those other novels rushing around in my head can’t be written by just anyone.
Wish me luck on the editing and if you have any words of wisdom for me, please share. Please.
On the words of wisdom note- I was in the middle of writing this blog post when I got an email. It was a new blog post by Chuck Wendig. (If you don’t read his blog or books, you should. Just sayin’)
Anywho. The blog post in my inbox happens to be a well-written and timely look at the whole writing process that seems to be fitting to link to here. So go check it out. It’s much more eloquent than I pretend to be.
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